


Baby, How Do I Look?

by taeminki



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 01:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16692430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeminki/pseuds/taeminki
Summary: It's hoodie season. Changbin reminds himself of the fact every day. It's hoodie season, and he can make it through to winter. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and he's perfectly warm, and he can make it.





	Baby, How Do I Look?

**Author's Note:**

> ♪ hoodie season -3racha

Changbin liked this era of technology because the library was very rarely busy. Only when some famous author of teenage books decided to write about another heartthrob did the library get packed. However, the authors had been pretty quiet recently-- which meant that Changbin could freely roam the shelves, except there was nothing, really, to pick up. He decided on a book he'd read before-- _Broken Vessels_ , about the very concept weighting the written lyrics in Changbin's pocket-- and sat down to read it.

He stripped himself of his hoodie before he started reading. The library always had the heat blasting, and Changbin would start to sweat through his white hoodie if he didn't hang it across the back of his chair. He was left with long, black sleeves in the hoodie's wake--except those sleeves were light, and breathable, and Changbin could read comfortably with the fabric hanging around his fingers.

Oddly enough, Changbin was disturbed from reading around the second chapter-- when a boy pulled the chair next to him and wondered, in a whisper, "Can I sit here?"

Changbin's eyes quickly scanned the rest of the library. There were only three tables in the library, with four chairs each, but all were vacant except for Changbin's. Changbin wondered at the boy for a moment, but decided it didn't matter, and it wasn't worth it to ask why the boy would rather sit with him than-- well-- alone. He gestured to the chair, and the boy took the seat, with a relieved whisper.

Changbin finished the second chapter before paying the boy any more attention. He had coffee, Changbin noticed-- or tea, or something hot. He had his phone on above his book, which was open to the middle somewhere. Unless he'd brought it, or read it before, Changbin didn't think he could have gotten _that_  far in a couple minutes. He was curious about this boy. He had mysterious facets to him-- and while _everyone_  did, Changbin was interested in his. He wasn't sure why.

"Are you new around here?" Changbin couldn't help asking. He doubted he was disturbing the boy-- who was tapping along at his phone like he was playing a game. There were colorful flashes passing the screen, though Changbin couldn't make them out from his angle. The boy looked up, humming curiously-- and Changbin noticed the headphones in his ears. He plucked one out, and wondered, "Sorry. Did you say something?"

"I, uh--" Changbin wondered if he should repeat himself or not. _Are you new?_  Was that rude? Changbin couldn't think of anything else to say, though, and panicked a bit, "I just asked-- if you're new around here? I haven't-- seen you before."

"Oh? No, I'm not. I just don't come to the library often," the boy said. He plucked his other headphone out, too, and placed them both on top of his phone. He leaned forward against his arms, a smile about his lips, "What's your name?"

He looked ready for a conversation, and Changbin was glad he didn't care much about the book he was reading-- knew its contents, and how it ended, else he would be cursing himself for talking in the first place. Changbin thought to close his book, and give the boy his attention, "Changbin. Yours?"

"Jisung," the boy said, trying to peek at the title of Changbin's book, but he had closed it to the back cover. He turned it over, and Jisung nodded in its direction, "My friend is a huge fan of that book. He told me to read it--actually, I came here looking for it."

"I don't have it checked out. I--" Changbin handed it over. The boy startled, and took it, "Thanks. You're not going to read it...?"

"Already have. It's good. Your friend was right to recommend it." Changbin said, gesturing to the book's cover. Jisung flipped it over to read its description, and hummed softly and briefly along. There wasn't much to the summary of the book, and it was laid gently against the table in just a few seconds. Jisung moved his phone and his headphones, then, and handed his book off to Changbin, "I'm not sure if you've read this-- I haven't checked this out, either-- but you should. I like it a lot."

It was called _I Am Not_ , and Changbin had been intent on finding it when he came to the library that morning. He wondered at Jisung, with amazed eyes, "Where did you find this? I was looking for it earlier."

"It was up there," Jisung said, pointing to the front of the library--to the cart of recently returned books. It was usually empty (as it was now, for the librarian and her assistants worked constantly, and quickly). Changbin did recall seeing a handful of books there, earlier; he couldn't imagine why he hadn't checked it. It was a popular title-- if it was in the library at all, it was _constantly_  going to be on that cart.

"I didn't even think to check," Changbin said; and to think he came to the library more than Jisung. He peeked into the book, eyes excitedly skimming the first page of the prologue.

"Changbin," Jisung said. Changbin looked up. Jisung was looking past him, but looked directly at him as Changbin shifted his attention, and he smiled, "Can I see your hoodie?"

Changbin didn't think twice, no longer hesitant about Jisung's slightly invasive nature. He was far curious, and far intrigued, and he handed over his white hoodie. Jisung held it for a moment, studying the design on the front. It was nothing special, just a little saying in black letters-- some simple English phrase that Changbin, thanks to a friend of his-- Chan, understood to mean _custom spirit_. Jisung said the words out loud, which startled Changbin a bit. He couldn't understand the phrase in English-- didn't know if it had some special meaning or brand that he was unaware of, but to hear the foreign language on Jisung's tongue was shocking. He was friends with two men who spoke English natively, but it had never sounded quite like _that_  before.

"I think our hoodies come from the same designer," Jisung said. He reached behind him, and he grasped a large black blob of fabric, which flattened into another hoodie of similar design under Jisung's palms. Jisung read out the English phrase on his hoodie, which Changbin couldn't catch a syllable of. He blinked, and looked to read it, but it was kind of tilted and kind of wrinkled by the way Jisung's hoodie sat and he would give himself a headache if he tried to interpret it. He asked Jisung, instead, "What does that mean?"

"Hm," Jisung rolled his eyes up in thought, and translated after a moment of thought, "Supreme... act."

Again, Changbin didn't comprehend the phrase as having any particular meaning, though he knew, now, that it wasn't exactly the same as _custom spirit_ , so his hoodie's phrase likely wasn't a brand. Changbin nodded as if he understood, and Jisung laughed softly, "It doesn't really mean anything. It's just a phrase. America likes these kinds of designs."

Changbin was glad to have that cleared up for him without having to stupidly take his wonder to the Internet. He mused a bit, and told Jisung, honestly, "I wondered. I thought my hoodie had a brand name on it."

"No, just some words. They have meaning to some people, but--" Jisung shrugged. He set the hoodies aside for a moment, and grabbed for his phone again. A sigh came about his lips, and he looked at Changbin, "I have to go. It was really nice meeting you. Thank you for letting me take the book;" and Jisung waved the book in the air, gesturing. Changbin just nodded, and waved weakly as Jisung gathered up his things and left -- after, of course, checking the book out. He watched Jisung go, and had the urge to run after him -- ask him for his number, wonder if there was a way for them to keep contact, but after just one brief meeting? That was--strange.

Changbin thought better of it, and stayed in his seat.

He remained in the library for another twenty minutes, his excited eyes speeding through the prologue and first chapter of _I Am Not_ , intrigued by the free spirit of the main character and the way his best friend protected him. He was attached to the characters immediately, and hooked to the plot of the tale -- the push for freedom and artistic expression. Changbin faced the same issues, sometimes; and he loved the way this book represented him.

It wasn't until Changbin went home and sat down to continue reading _I Am Not_ , and felt a bump against his stomach (revealed to be a little notebook and pen in his pocket, upon further investigation), that he realized the hoodie he'd taken from the library wasn't his.

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn't the hoodie that Changbin minded. It was the note he'd had in his pocket.

Changbin didn't care that he'd lost a hoodie. He wasn't particularly attached to it, and he had others. (He even had Jisung's, now.) He _did_ , however, care that he'd lost a page of lyrics that he had revised every night for a month. He was attached to the words; they were personal, and they were _good_. Changbin never felt _good_  about much when it came to the creative aspect of himself. He felt decent about it; yes, he was a good writer, and he knew that, but _those_  lyrics were -- better. They were Changbin's best. They held a special place in Changbin's heart. _That's_  why he wished he'd taken his damn hoodie.

"Alright, alright, I'm _sorry_ \--" Hyunjin held up his hands in defense, "I just asked why the hoodie was so important -- didn't know about the lyrics."

"Sorry." Changbin said shortly. Short. He'd been short with Hyunjin, just now -- too short, and too stressed. He rolled his shoulders, and apologized, "I'm upset. I really liked those lyrics."

"Personal?" Hyunjin asked, referring to the nature of said lyrics. Changbin nodded, "Yeah."

"Do you think he read them?" Hyunjin asked. Changbin shrugged. _He_  hadn't read through the notebook _Jisung_  left in his hoodie pocket, but he knew, from what he'd learned about Jisung, that he had a curious mind.

But, "I don't care. I just want them back."

"Go back to the library. Or... I don't know, take a walk around town. He said he was from around here, right?" Hyunjin asked. Changbin nodded. Hyunjin took a moment to purse his lips, and roll his eyes around in thought, and consider, "How about you and I go walking around after class today? I can help you find him."

"What if he's not out today?"

"We can go out other days, too." Hyunjin said. Changbin was surprised at Hyunjin's words, because the two had never even hung out outside of school before (apart from that day Hyunjin's parents hadn't picked him up, and they happened to see each other outside. That day was pretty fun; the two of them had just left the school gates when an ice cream truck drove past, and all it took was a look for the two of them to fly after it. They caught it at a stop sign, and barely gathered up enough coins from the bottom of their back-packs and wallets to pay for popsicles. Changbin kind of looked forward to hanging out with Hyunjin again).

"Okay," Changbin said, already imagining the kinds of things he and Hyunjin could get up to, "I'll meet you by the gate?"

Hyunjin agreed, "Meet you by the gate."

 

Changbin was a few minutes late to meeting Hyunjin by the gate--because he'd forgotten, and took his time to stop by his locker and let everyone else file out of the hallway before he tried to pass under the exit. It was when he was outside, and spotted the gate-- and then spotted Hyunjin leaning against the gate that he remembered, and startled. He walked quicker to catch up with Hyunjin, and told him, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Hyunjin said, pocketing his phone. He didn't even ask for an explanation, just asked, "Ready?"

Changbin nodded. Hyunjin led him up the road-- same way he went home, except they took some twists and turns that didn't involve Changbin's usual path at all. To pass time as they were simply walking, Hyunjin recounted a funny video he watched as he was waiting for Changbin, and Changbin nodded along, albeit a bit bored by the story itself because Hyunjin was laughing through it and didn't enunciate half of his words. His laugh made up for it, though, and Changbin felt comfortable laughing along even though he didn't know half of the story.

"A lot of kids go here," Hyunjin said, gesturing to a small shopping area up ahead, "You want to try looking in there?"

"Huh," Changbin considered, but he spotted a snack shop right next to the shopping center and pointed there, "Can we get food first?"

"Okay," Hyunjin said, and turned his footing slightly to start for the snacks instead. Changbin had been in the shop a few times before, but not enough to memorize the layout of the place. He and Hyunjin got a little lost in there-- never strayed far from the exit (considering the shop was too small to do so anyhow), but did manage to get caught up in all the different breads and candies that were available for purchase. Their bags were packed with cheap snacks by the time they left, and there were down half their money each, but the way their bellies filled after various delicious flavors passed through their mouths was worth it.

"I don't even know if we'll have enough money to buy anything," Hyunjin mentioned, biting through a piece of bread and gesturing to the shopping mall to keep Changbin's attention on the topic for a moment of silent chewing, "but it's worth a shot to look for your hoodie boy, yeah?"

"Yeah," Changbin said. The two ventured into the shopping mall, picking apart bread and feeding pieces to each other -- strawberry and green tea mixing oddly well. Changbin kept an eye out for Jisung, wondering... hoping... anxious... _this is actually kind of ridiculous_.

"I don't actually know what this kid looks like." Hyunjin mentioned, munching on another piece of green tea bread, "Maybe you could describe him to me?"

"Oh;" it hadn't occurred to Changbin that Hyunjin didn't know what Jisung looked like. He started, "Well, he has hair... kind of like yours--"

Changbin swiped his fingers on his pants, taking away any crumbs or oils from the bread, and played with a stray strand of Hyunjin's hair, "But it's not as long in the back," and his pointer finger stumbled through the hair reaching Hyunjin's neck, "And it's brown," a little lighter than Hyunjin's black.

"Okay," Hyunjin said, "Anything else?"

"He's about my height," Changbin said.

"So I should start looking down?" Hyunjin asked, and Changbin punched him in the shoulder, "Hey--" but he couldn't help but laugh along once Hyunjin started up. He picked at his bread some more, and wondered what else he could say about Jisung.

"His cheeks are cute," Changbin said. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, "Cute?"

"Yeah," Changbin shrugged, "I don't know how else to describe them--or him. Just... cute."

"So, a cute boy," Hyunjin said, "about your height, with hair kind of like mine."

"Yes."

"Alright," Hyunjin said, determined. The two walked the whole mall, eating half their snacks and giggling about some things they could remember from grade school. (Changbin and Hyunjin had always been school friends--never much more than that. Changbin wasn't much of a _friends_  guy, and only really consistently had Hyunjin. Hyunjin was more popular-- talked to more people, hung out with more people. Somehow, though, he always came back to Changbin -- never had lunch with anyone else, never stayed behind for a few minutes after school to talk to anyone else. It was and it wasn't odd, Changbin thought, that they hadn't done this-- or something like this-- before. He supposed, though, that some people just had that kind of relationship that only existed inside the walls of a boring learning simulation.)

"My dad's going to call me any minute," Changbin realized when he peeked at his phone. He had a few text messages-- a friend asking if he'd attempted the homework yet, his mother asking him if he was coming over this weekend, or any upcoming weekend. Changbin didn't want to deal with either one of those texts, but he thought it might be a good idea to start heading home and take some of the pressure off by having dinner with his father. Hyunjin laughed; and Changbin looked, and thought he might be laughing at something on his phone, but he continued with, "Actually, my mom just messaged me, too," and he understood that they really should start heading home.

"Let's go?" Changbin asked, and Hyunjin agreed. They left the shopping mall, and started back toward the school. Changbin had no idea where Hyunjin lived, and asked, about halfway to his house, "You live around here?"

"Close enough. I was going to walk you home," Hyunjin said. Changbin was surprised at that, and laughed a bit, "You don't have to do that."

"But you're so small. I feel obligated to protect you," Hyunjin said, looping an arm over Changbin's shoulder. Changbin shoved him off, hitting his side with a few playful, gentle blows before Hyunjin could move away, blocking himself from the hits as he laughed. Changbin huffed, and dragged Hyunjin by the elbow, urging him to keep up despite his laughter, "Come on. If you're going to walk me home, let's go fast-- I don't want you to walk in the dark."

"I still have at least half an hour of daylight," Hyunjin mentioned, and Changbin knew as much, but he'd rather be safe than sorry. He made himself walk a little quicker, and talked to Hyunjin distractedly about school, and how he had some homework to do; and Hyunjin talked to him distractedly about how he didn't want to have dinner with his mother because his sister was home for the week and he was so full of cheap bread he thought he might explode.

"This is me," Changbin said, pointing to his porch. He stopped by the bottom of his steps and faced Hyunjin, "Thanks for helping me today."

"Want to go out again tomorrow? Search for your boy some more?" Hyunjin asked. Changbin shrugged his shoulders, traced his wrist, and thought about it. He felt kind of bad dragging Hyunjin along, but he knew he wouldn't search for Jisung himself, so-- "Actually, I do."

"I'll see you tomorrow, then. We'll find more places to look." Hyunjin said. He took a step backward, and Changbin told him, "Hurry home, it'll be dark in twenty minutes;" and Hyunjin waved him off as he was walking away. The last thing Changbin saw was his smile and his hands tucked into his sky blue hoodie before he rounded the corner, and disappeared into the (almost) night.

 

 

 

 

 

It's hoodie season. Changbin keeps telling himself that. _It's hoodie season, Changbin. You love hoodie season. You're fine. It's fine_.

"You okay?"

"Absolutely not."

Changbin felt like an idiot for blurting the truth, and then he was standing in front of a shocked Hyunjin with nothing else to say to redeem himself. He cleared his throat, and Hyunjin blinked two times before asking, "What's wrong?"

"Everything, I guess." Changbin muttered. He tucked his hands into his pockets. _At least I have my hoodie_ , Changbin thought, except he grabbed Jisung's on the way out and Jisung didn't buy his as big as Changbin usually bought his own and it didn't allow much room for Changbin's arms to float and it didn't reach to his fingertips, or even to the end of his palm. It was frustrating. Changbin was frustrated. _But at least it's hoodie season_.

"Pinpoint something?" Hyunjin suggested, rocking, "Anything I can fix?"

"Do you have an extra hoodie?" Changbin asked. Hyunjin blinked, frowned, "No, but-- uh, if you're cold-- here--" Hyunjin dropped his bag, and he dropped his phone on top of it, and he pulled his own hoodie off. Changbin didn't mean for him to do that, but he didn't argue when Hyunjin handed the hoodie over. Changbin took his-- Jisung's-- off, and slipped Hyunjin's over his head. He tucked Jisung's hoodie over his arm, thought better of it, and offered it to Hyunjin. Hyunjin only took it to hold, so that Changbin didn't have to.

"Anything else?"

Changbin shook his head quietly, and looked at the ground. He felt bad for being so much trouble, but he couldn't help thinking he was much more comfortable now. Hyunjin's hoodie engulfed both of his hands in its warmth before he even slid them into its pockets. It was black in color and it contrasted Changbin's white jeans -- and he liked it. He liked the white of his hat followed by the black of Hyunjin's hoodie followed by the white of his jeans and the black of his shoes. It felt very -- grey, and he liked that.

"Are you up for looking around today?" Hyunjin asked, "I can walk you home if you're not."

"Uh," Changbin considered. He wanted to spend more time with Hyunjin -- yesterday had been so simplistically fun, but he didn't want to go walking anywhere. He rocked on his toes, and then back on his heel-- toes, and heel again. He wondered, "You want to come hang out at my place?"

"Right now?"

"Preferably."

"Okay. Lead the way."

Changbin did. He felt awkward for the first few minutes, as he was newly wearing Hyunjin's hoodie and he could see Hyunjin visibly shaking as the biting breeze tore right through his shirt. He would have asked if Hyunjin wanted his hoodie back, except he was also on the phone with his mother explaining that he was going to be out with a friend and negotiating dinner times. They were halfway to Changbin's house before Hyunjin finally got his mom off the phone.

"You want to go home instead?" Changbin said. Hyunjin scoffed, "Home? Over hanging out with you? That's funny."

(Changbin liked home, but he understood that some people didn't.)

"Do you want your hoodie back?" Changbin thought to ask-- eventually, because he and Hyunjin had gone silent for a minute or two. Hyunjin looked at him, and then up the street, "Isn't that your house up there?"

Changbin looked. He knew they were close. Hyunjin had made a broad gesture-- only jutting his chin toward the upper part of the street, but Changbin's house was, indeed, quite close. Changbin confirmed as much, and that was all Hyunjin needed to decide, "I don't want it back."

Changbin opened his bag to gather his keys when the two of them started up the steps. His foot caught on the third step, and he stumbled, and dropped his keys. Hyunjin saved him from completely falling forward-- which he may not have even with the absence of Hyunjin's quick hands, but he wouldn't put it past himself. Hyunjin steadied Changbin, and stooped to grab Changbin's keys. He asked, "You okay?" as his fingers dropped Changbin's keys into their owner's palm.

"Fine," Changbin said, holding onto Hyunjin's arm the rest of the way up the stairs, a little breathless at the shock of nearly falling, a little embarrassed at the way he tripped. He wasn't clumsy like this. He was out of it today, and it had been so obvious since that afternoon.

"Do you want to watch something?" Changbin asked, dumping his bag and his keys on the couch. He looked at Hyunjin, hands comfortably tucked into the large pocket over his stomach, "I have snacks, if you want -- or we could make something for lunch. I've got games upstairs. Whatever you want."

"I'm cool with watching something," Hyunjin said. Changbin nodded, and handed him the remote, "Go for it. I'm going to get a snack. Want something?"

"You have popcorn?"

"We've got an abundance of popcorn -- dad eats it like there's no tomorrow."

"Would he mind if I had some?"

"He wouldn't even notice any's gone." Changbin said. He stopped by the kitchen to throw some popcorn in the microwave for Hyunjin, and made his way back to his bedroom in the meantime to grab himself the last chocolate pastry he had from the previous day's shopping trip. He caught a look at himself in the mirror -- drowning in Hyunjin's hoodie, and thought he looked good today.

"So," Changbin said as he walked back into the living room-- from the kitchen, so Hyunjin's popcorn was already coming alive in the microwave. Changbin plopped himself down on the couch next to Hyunjin, and told him, "My dad usually comes home around six. If you want to get out of here before that, I totally get it. If you want to meet him, you're free to hang out until then."

"Will he mind me?"

"He'll like you."

Hyunjin considered, and shrugged, "I wouldn't mind meeting him."

Changbin grinned. The microwave called Changbin back to the kitchen, and by the time Changbin came back, Hyunjin was interested in a movie-- excitedly reading the description to Changbin, expressing how taken he was by the concept. Changbin, amused, dropped the popcorn bag in Hyunjin's lap, dropped himself on the couch, and told him to play it.

 

 

 

 

 

Movie. Homework. Hyunjin typed away on Changbin's laptop, and Changbin doodled away in the margins of his worksheet as he formulated how he could solve this math problem. Changbin's dad came home about eighteen minutes after 6:00, and Changbin greeted him distractedly, forgetting he didn't quite know Hyunjin yet.

"Hello," his dad said, quite warm. Changbin noticed Hyunjin stoop gently out of the corner of his eye, and remembered-- "Oh, dad, this is Hyunjin. He's a friend from school."

"Nice to meet you, Hyunjin. You staying for dinner?" he asked. Changbin looked at Hyunjin, small smile letting him know it was okay. Hyunjin looked between Changbin at his dad twice before decided, "If that's okay, I'd like to."

"Of course. It'd be great to have you," the man said. He went to shower-- left the two of them alone, and Changbin asked Hyunjin if he wanted to help make dinner-- didn't have to, but Changbin always helped his dad, and he didn't want to leave Hyunjin alone if he'd feel too awkward hanging around in the living room by himself. Hyunjin said he'd love to help; he helped his mom cook every night -- and, with that, he had to step out for a few minutes to call his mom, and let her know he wasn't going to be home.

A few minutes turned into fifteen, and then twenty, and Changbin was in the kitchen with all his hair tucked under a hat when Hyunjin finally re-entered the house. Changbin's dad joked, "We thought you got lost out there," but Changbin could only half-smile at his dad's amusement, because he didn't know Hyunjin _extremely_  well, but he could tell something was off. Hyunjin looked a little nervous, and had a few subtle sniffles about his breath.

"You okay?" Changbin asked softly. Hyunjin nodded, "It was kind of cold out there."

Changbin laughed a little bit, "You should have taken your hoodie."

"You look too cute in it. I didn't want it back." Hyunjin said. Changbin looked at him for a moment. His eyes, cheeks, and nose were pink. His sniffles weren't made of wind-induced tears. He had been crying.

"Are you okay?" Changbin asked again, quieter this time. Hyunjin glanced nervously over his shoulder, his shoulders relaxing a bit when he noticed Changbin's father still had his back to the both of them. Hyunjin asked Changbin in a whisper, "Can I talk to you about it later?" and Changbin nodded, "Of course."

 _Later_  actually came sooner rather than later; Changbin's dad was so fun and talkative that the time flew, and all of a sudden Changbin's dad was going to his bedroom to watch television and sleep, and it was nearing 8:00. Hyunjin and Changbin were alone in Changbin's living room, finishing up homework assignments and listening to music from both of their playlists; they would switch off every couple of songs. Changbin was still curious as to why Hyunjin had been crying. Hyunjin didn't want to talk about it.

"Hey, Binnie," Hyunjin said. Changbin was caught by two things-- the nickname, and the idea that Hyunjin might want to tell him what happened earlier. Changbin perked up immediately, giving Hyunjin all of his attention. Hyunjin told him, "I think I'm going to head home."

 _Oh_. "Oh;" and Changbin didn't mean to sound so disappointed.

"Sorry." Hyunjin muttered softly, "I just-- my mom probably wants me home within the hour and I have about a twenty-minute walk--"

"Wait," Changbin said, turning to look at his window. The sky had fallen pretty dark; it would be fully dark before Hyunjin could make it home. Changbin's eyebrow curved downward, a frown framing his eyes, "It's almost dark. I can't let you walk alone."

"If you walked me home you would have to walk back yourself, and I'm not going to let you do that either." Hyunjin said.

"I can drive you," Changbin said; and it wasn't an offer or suggestion as much as it was informative and action-ready. Hyunjin said, "You don't have to;" and Changbin retorted with "I'm _not_  letting you walk home in the dark."

"Okay." Hyunjin said softly, a flattered smile curving the corner of his mouth. Changbin left the room briefly to explain the situation to his dad and ask if he could borrow his car. His father said of course, to "get Hyunjin home safe," to "drive safe," and even handed him a few bills to get some dessert on the way to Hyunjin's house if he wanted. Changbin kissed his dad's head and took his keys, and met Hyunjin on the front porch.

"I'm still wearing your hoodie." Changbin realized. Hyunjin was trembling on his front porch, his hands tucked into his pockets in a last attempt to keep warm. Hyunjin shrugged, "You look cute in it," and Changbin chuckled, "And you look cold."

"Don't take it off," Hyunjin said, fingers slipping around Changbin's elbow to stop his movement, "I'm fine."

"I'm going to have to give it back eventually," Changbin said, but he didn't argue; and he started to walk toward his driveway with Hyunjin's fingers still attached to his elbow. He moved slowly enough that his arm happened not to tear away from Hyunjin's hold, and instead of letting to, Hyunjin slipped his hand past the crook of Changbin's elbow-- then his wrist, and half of his forearm. Changbin felt warmer.

Changbin unlocked the car on Hyunjin's side, opened the door for him, but left him to close it as he walked around the back to duck into the driver's side. He felt a shiver rock through him even with Hyunjin's hoodie surrounding him. He asked, "Are you sure you don't want your hoodie back?" and Hyunjin nodded silently, tucking his hands between his thighs.

The first few minutes of the ride were relatively silent, with no sound except for Hyunjin's occasional mutter of directions. At a stop sign, Changbin briefly glanced over to Hyunjin to check on him. He had turned the heater on, so there was no reason Hyunjin should still be shivering, except he was. Changbin's eyebrows stooped, but he kept driving. He spared a few more glances in Hyunjin's direction, and wondered what would have him tapping to rapidly on his thighs. Changbin was starting to burn up with Hyunjin's hoodie draped around him. Was Hyunjin anxious?

Without really thinking about it, Changbin held his hand palm-up above the middle console. Hyunjin noticed the movement, and looked. Changbin didn't look back, realizing that his action was kind of awkward, but he didn't go back on it. He told Hyunjin, "I don't know why you're anxious, but I'm here for you."

Slowly, Hyunjin tucked his hand over Changbin's, and laced their fingers together. Their hands rest on the middle console, and Hyunjin was completely still. His mutters of directions became even quieter-- shy. Changbin thought it was cute. Changbin thought he might like Hyunjin.

"This one," Hyunjin pointed with his free hand at a white house with a red door. Changbin happened to be driving down the road, so the house was on his side. He drove until he found a driveway to pull into and back out of, so he could drop Hyunjin directly off at his house.

"Do you remember the way back to your house? I can tell you how to get back again if you don't." Hyunjin said. Changbin was fine, though; he knew his way from here.

"I can make it back." Changbin said. He and Hyunjin sat in silence for a few more moments. Changbin thought Hyunjin might not want to go inside just yet. Changbin kind of didn't want him to go inside just yet, either.

"Can I walk you to your door?"

"Yes, please."

Changbin tucked his keys into his hoodie's pocket, and his fingers brushed the bills his father had given him for dessert. _Shit_. He couldn't believe he'd forgotten to take Hyunjin somewhere. He thought it would have been a good idea, at this point -- more time spent together, less time Hyunjin had to be at home tonight. (There was something in that house that was bothering Hyunjin, Changbin decided. Maybe it was the house itself.)

Oh, well. Tomorrow. Changbin would take Hyunjin out for something sweet tomorrow. Hyunjin would have less time at home tomorrow.

Hyunjin's fingers shyly hooked over Changbin's elbow again. Changbin let him, and walked him up to his door slowly, wondering if Hyunjin was going to link their arms this time. However, not even Hyunjin's palm crossed Changbin's shoulder, and they were in front of his door.

"Thank you for letting me come over. I had a lot of fun with you." Hyunjin said. Changbin nodded, finding himself speechless for a moment. He had fun, too. He was glad Hyunjin came over. He wanted to do this again. He just had to say it.

"I was going to take you for dessert. I just-- forgot," Changbin started, and that was absolutely not what he wanted to say, but it segued smoothly enough into something he _did_  want to say, "But I can take you for pastries tomorrow, if you want."

"Want," Hyunjin muttered, and Changbin barely heard him, and didn't dwell on it, because Hyunjin told him, "I would love to."

"I had fun, too." Changbin remembered to mention, "And I'm really glad you came over even though I was pretty upset earlier."

"Just gave me more of a reason to come over, I think. I didn't want to leave you alone." Hyunjin said. Changbin didn't know what else to say, so he decided to hug Hyunjin. That was a nice end to the night, right? A hug-- and, oh-- "You need your hoodie back."

"No I don't." Hyunjin said, his arms pressing half an inch closer, hugging Changbin just a little tighter. This was a long hug, Changbin thought; he didn't mind.

"You've had to deal with the cold three different times today because of me."

"That's okay." Hyunjin said. He let go of Changbin, and gently touched his arms, looking at the black of his hoodie, "You look cute in it."

Changbin finally said "thank you" in response; because Hyunjin had said that how many times today and he hadn't once responded with gratitude.

"You're welcome." Hyunjin said. He looked at his door, and it was time for him to go, "I'll see you tomorrow, Binnie."

 _Binnie_. "By the tree after school?"

"By the tree after school."

Changbin felt overheated as he ducked into his car. He drove home with the heater off.

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday. One week following Hyunjin meeting his father; Changbin was still wearing Hyunjin's hoodie.

He hadn't seen Hyunjin this past week. It was his fault, really. He'd been avoiding the tree; he'd been avoiding _Hyunjin_. He had seen Hyunjin waiting, and he had walked past-- far past, in hopes that Hyunjin wouldn't even see him. He had wanted a minute to step back and think about how he felt, and how he was going to approach the situation in light of his self-assessment. He discovered that he really, really liked Hyunjin; and he felt guilty for having to take so much damn time to figure it out; but Changbin hadn't had the courage to make what was probably the right decision. (It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. He should have hung out with Hyunjin anyway.)

Changbin walked up to Hyunjin with guilt heavy on his shoulders, weighing him down along with the keys and money he had tucked into the pocket of Hyunjin's hoodie. His steps were careful but quick; he swiftly walked to Hyunjin, and stood in front of him, and said, "I have your hoodie."

"You do." Hyunjin said. He didn't seem upset, but he didn't seem particularly happy either. He tucked his phone into the pocket of his jeans. He wasn't wearing a hoodie, and the sleeves of his shirt were short. Changbin made to take off his jacket, noting "you're shivering," but Hyunjin stopped him gently, fingers rotating around his elbow, "Don't. You look cute."

Changbin stopped, and smiled, "Thank you."

Silence hung between the two for a moment, but Changbin didn't want it around for too long. It was too awkward. Awkward silence didn't make for good grounds for forgiveness; so, boldly, Changbin asked, "Do you want to hang out today?" and, boldly, Hyunjin said yes.

When the two of them started to walk a few moments later, an idea came to Changbin. It was a bold idea-- something he hadn't tried for a week, and one he had never tried when Hyunjin likely didn't have the best feelings toward him, but it was something he was eager to try again. Changbin freed his hand from the length of Hyunjin's jacket and reached carefully for his hand, smoothly slotting his fingers against Hyunjin's. Hyunjin's lips immediately curved into a smile, and Changbin's mouth mirrored his.

"Keeping me warm?" Hyunjin asked, and Changbin just nodded softly. He felt a little bolder, walked a little closer to Hyunjin, slipped his sweater-clad hand over Hyunjin's arm, rubbed the exposed areas around his elbow to keep him warm. It didn't work too well-- and, really, Changbin hadn't expected it to, but a distraction was always an option when it came to beating the cold. Hyunjin did seem to shiver less and less as the seconds ticked on.

"Changbin," Hyunjin said suddenly-- and not sudden in an urgent way, but sudden in a break-the-silence way. Changbin hummed. Hyunjin nervously fiddled-- accidentally with Changbin's fingers for a moment, and then perhaps unconsciously with a belt loop on his pants using his free hand. He took a moment to say, "I don't want to, um... sound weird, or anything, but when we find this boy you're looking for... would you still want to hang out?"

Changbin, admittedly, was still looking for Jisung after all this time-- but only because he wanted his _damn_  lyrics back. He had long since accepted the fact that the little surge of emotion he felt for Jisung was a fall-too-fast crush that wouldn't have worked out anyway. Probably. He would like to think it wouldn't, because things with Hyunjin seemed to be going so much better and so much farther in terms of having a crush, and maybe liking Hyunjin a lot more than that; and Changbin thought Jisung was just the little bump Changbin needed for fate to steer him in the right direction. ( _Fate_  was a lot, Changbin thought to himself; but he also thought _oh, well_. He liked Hyunjin.)

"Of course." Changbin smiled-- beamed, if he wouldn't have tried to control his expression. "I love hanging out with you."

"Me, too." Hyunjin said softly. His gaze dropped a bit, and his free hand came to rest gently against Changbin's other hand, which was still attempting to warm his forearm. Changbin limited his rubbing movements so Hyunjin's fingers could follow his; and neither pay too much attention to how intimate the gesture was as Hyunjin continued to speak, "I actually missed you a lot this past week."

"I'm really sorry." Changbin muttered, swallowing another pebble that felt lodged in his throat. He was going to say something assuring-- _you could have called me_ , but that wasn't true, and Changbin owed it to Hyunjin not to spit out lies. Luckily, Hyunjin was speaking before Changbin had to think of something to add to his apology.

"It's okay," Hyunjin assured, patting Changbin's fingers softly, "I just-- I kind of thought you might have found your boy and didn't... really want to hang out with me anymore."

"You're ridiculous." Changbin blurted before he could think about it. He said it with a laugh, and it wasn't meant to offend Hyunjin-- but he was a hypocrite, really. How long had it taken him to figure out he liked Hyunjin? And he expected Hyunjin to know Changbin would prioritize him over Jisung?

"I love hanging out with you." Changbin said, slipping his sleeve a little further up his hand-- subtle, with the intent to feel Hyunjin's fingers against his. "I'm actually kind of upset we didn't spend time together like this before."

"Yeah," Hyunjin laughed a bit-- hiccuped a laugh and stopped, and they were silent.

"Hey, Binnie?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I said I didn't want to make things weird, but.... I like hanging out with you. Like, a lot." Hyunjin said. Changbin's heart knocked against his chest; and he wondered if Hyunjin was going where Changbin thought he was going. He felt excitement settle into his chest-- anticipation, curiosity, "Jinnie--"

"Do you want to date me?" Hyunjin asked on one breath-- one rushed breath, one that came out sound like it had been sucked into his throat for a long time. Changbin almost stopped walking, he was so shocked. Really? _Really?_  Hyunjin asked him on a date. Hyunjin asked him on a date! He rushed to answer when the question finally processed, "Y-yes."

"You-- you'd like to-- date me? R-really? I thought-- I thought you were hung up on that guy we were looking for." Hyunjin said, doubtful. Changbin tapped his fingers against Hyunjin's elbow, "He's cute but he's-- he mainly just has my goddamn lyrics--"

Hyunjin laughed, at that; and Changbin laughed, too. When silence started to creep up on them, Changbin chased it away-- "I'm really into you, Hyunjin. I think a date with you would be really great. And-- since we're out, and I have money my dad gave us for desserts--"

"You want to go on a date now?" Hyunjin rushed. Changbin nodded; Hyunjin's next laugh was shocked, "I don't-- even look that great today--"

"You should stop that statement right there." Changbin said, laughing a bit. He tugged Hyunjin closer to him-- unintentionally, really, because he just wanted to steer Hyunjin more to the right; "Come on, I want ice cream."

 

 

Ice cream, arcade, mall-- and thus followed the events of their day. It was getting later, nearing 6:00, and they should be heading back to their homes soon. Changbin was about to bring up the fact that they should walk to Changbin's house together, and Hyunjin should let Changbin drive him home again, when Changbin saw a familiar hoodie brush past him, and a familiar voice shout an unfamiliar name. Two boys had just barreled past Hyunjin and Changbin, and they were both laughing -- and Jisung was wearing his hoodie!

"Oh my God," Changbin said softly, stopping. Hyunjin stopped, too, "You okay?"

"That's him," Changbin said, staring at Jisung. He and his friend (Changbin had already forgotten the name Jisung had said) were standing by a dessert stand, raising to the tips of their toes to look at the menu. Hyunjin squeezed Changbin's fingers a bit, "The-- the one you were looking for?"

"Yes." Changbin said. He almost dismissed Jisung, except-- "He still has my lyrics!"

Changbin didn't let go of Hyunjin's hands as he made his way toward Jisung. He gently tapped on his shoulder upon approaching him, and Jisung turned, and startled, and smiled, "Changbin!"

"H-hi." Changbin said, losing all confidence he had to demand his lyrics back. (Really, he wasn't angry; he was just so impatient. Those lyrics were _good_. Changbin's lyrics were never _good_.)

"I was hoping I would run into you again." Jisung said. He started to dig through his pockets, talking as he did so, "Changbin, this is Felix. Felix, this is Changbin, who I met in the library a while back. I accidentally--"

Jisung handed him his lyrics with a bright smile, "--stole his note. And his hoodie!"

Jisung made to take the piece of clothing off, but Changbin stopped him, "It's fine. It's cold. I don't even have your hoodie--"

Changbin stopped, and cursed under his breath, "I don't have your notebook either."

"It's okay. We can exchange numbers, if you want, so we can meet another time. We can probably swap hoodies back." Jisung said. That was a good idea, Changbin thought, and made to grab his phone. His fingers slipped out of Hyunjin's, and that's when he remembered-- "Oh! This is Hyunjin, by the way. Hyunjin, this is Jisung."

Hyunjin greeted Jisung and Felix politely. Changbin and Jisung quickly exchanged numbers, and promised to meet again soon, with hoodies and Jisung's notebook in tow. They wished each other a fun rest of their nights, and Changbin and Hyunjin turned to leave, while Jisung and Felix stay behind.

"He seems nice." Hyunjin said softly. Changbin looked at him, saw the dip of his cheek that suggested he was biting the inside of it-- felt the grip of his fingers, and thought _he's jealous_. Changbin thought it was pretty cute.

"So far he has been. Felix seems nice, too." Changbin said. He glanced over his shoulder, to where Felix and Jisung were still reading the menu-- except, now, Felix had his hand on the counter of Jisung's farther hip, and he was leaning in, and kissing Jisung's cheek, and Changbin tapped on Hyunjin and gestured just as Jisung turned his head, and kissed his lips briefly.

"They seem close." Changbin said softly. Hyunjin laughed a little bit; his cheeks had turned a subtle shade of pink, perhaps at the embarrassment of feeling jealous. Changbin still thought it was adorable, and leaned up to kiss Hyunjin's cheek.

Changbin spared one last look at Jisung as he and Hyunjin were exiting the mall; and he was glad he'd met Jisung in the library that day.


End file.
